denial. shock. sad. pain. acceptance. anger. peace. repeat. repeat. repeat...

Thursday, April 7, 2011

walking a tight rope

Lately I've been feeling a balancing act of emotions. Similar to walking on a tight rope, spinning glass plates. There is something always on my mind that I have to balance with everything else. For example, Scott's memory and knowing that he's gone, with knowing I need to function at work. It's really hard. Balancing grief and life is very, very challenging. How do you get good at it?

I tell myself that I need to focus on what I can focus on and that's it. I cannot predict the future. I can only live in the "now." This is what I must focus on. Each day at at a time. I think I'm finally at the point where I am living "day by day." Before it felt more like hour by hour, but today I know I'm healing. Healing the way I should be healing, and also living my life.

I still cannot answer the question "what would Scott want you to do."

1 comment:

  1. I am so Happy to hear that you are feeling better. Balancing Grief and life is a challenge and there are no easy answers to any of our questions when our loved ones leave. Keep your head up your on the right track to healing.

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