denial. shock. sad. pain. acceptance. anger. peace. repeat. repeat. repeat...

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

sleep deprived

I feel very sleep deprived today. While I slept good, I could not sleep anymore this morning. I woke up early and just decided to get up and start my day. I wish I could sleep like I used to...but I have a feeling that won't come for a while.

I also think I'm afraid to sleep. Afraid of what I might dream, afraid of what I might see. I need to work through this a bit in therapy. I don't see images of him anymore when I go to sleep. Well, I take that back,  I do have visuals sometimes of how I found him, but it's not as much as it used to be. Which I am thankful wasn't a good way to find someone you love.

Being this tired is like being hungover. At least, that's what it's like for me. I am foggy, can't think well. Feel sick to my stomach. It's intense. And just from ONE night of not sleeping enough, even though I slept. It's like I'm fighting with my sleep!! Stupid.

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