January 9, 2011 was the day I found him dead. Today is July 9, 2011.
I get confused is it the date or the day? Who cares. It's fucking here. My life has changed for sure. I'm trying to focus on those changes because they bring me happiness. They are love.
I'm thankful my mom is here this weekend. She's always here. She's been by my side my entire life, but even moreso over the last 9 or 10 months starting when Scott was so sick. I'm a lucky girl to have the relationship I do with her. She will do anything for me that I need, even when I don't know what that is.
Today, we're going furniture shopping for a new shelving unit. I need a large new item of furniture that I can make all mine. 100% Grayson. Hello Kitty is probably going to be included in some type of figurine. Why? Cause I love Hello Kitty and because it's what I want. I'm looking forward to starting to piece my life together in my way, on my time table.
I've grown. I'm aware of me, yet there's still a lot of learning to do...
That's a big step to take, getting something big that is 100% you. Huge step, some would see this as progress. But progress towards what exactly? I don't know (at 19 months I'm still learning). I hope that you are doing well.
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