religion

I was raised very Christian. Church of Christ actually. Church three times a week, twice on Sunday and once on Wednesday. We eventually stopped going to church and as I entered into adulthood, I slowly moved away from any religious beliefs. I am agnostic. Not sure what I believe. I sometimes feel I border on the line of atheist as well, if I'm being honest.

So knowing what I know about religion, which is a lot, I don't understand heaven. Do I believe in heaven? No. But I know what I was taught to believe but now that I've had a tragic loss, I REALLY question heaven.

Why would heaven be a place of love, happiness and no worry, when the person dead would have to look down upon those who are grieving? If there was a heaven and Scott saw me like this, he would be miserable. There's no way around it. He hated seeing me sad. He always held me when I was crying or had a bad day. So how do you answer that? I need to talk to a preacher or something for the answer. I do wonder what someone would say. Feel free to comment.

This post is not meant to bash any religion. I respect all and do not judge what you believe in and I expect the same in return :)